Buba Will be turning one in a few days
So I decided to tell my story and our family’s journey to and though breastfeeding. The good the bad the ugly.
In 2008 I was pregnant with our first child, a son, and we were SUPER excited. At 18 weeks we found out that there was a problem. The baby had intrauterine growth restriction (IUGR). At 22 weeks when they found the baby had not grown at all in the last month I was admitted into the hospital and placed on bed rest. During my 10 day stay a NICU doctor came to speak with us. He ask if I was planning on breastfeeding. I said yes I wanted to try. He then said that that was going to be the biggest decided factor in my babies life because he was going to be VERY tiny and needed every chance for survival. By breastfeeding I could save my babies life. Only a few days later we found that my Son no longer had a heart beat. Part of me died with him. I was induced and 14 hours later on Aug 15th 2008 at 6 months gestation my son was born at 11 ounces and 10.5 inches. His cord had become tied. That Doctors comments on breastfeeding has stayed with me and will forever.
A very short time later (to short). We found that I was again pregnant. I lived in fear everyday but, thankfully, my pregnancy was normal. When I was 38 weeks pregnant I asked to be induced as soon as possible. I could not have her die inside me, so at 38 weeks 8 days I was induced. First off the hospital couldn’t find my test results saying I didn’t have strep B so I had antibiotics, I had a epidural at 7cm, and gave birth 4 hours after the actual pitocin was started. Princess was tiny 5 pounds 9 ounces 18 1/4inches. I was an emotional mess. Talk about post traumatic stress. I couldn’t stop crying. I was so sad, so happy, and filled with so much fear. I could barely hold her, all I saw was my son, but I didn’t want to let her go I wanted to protect this tiny girl from the world. My husband held her the longest before she was taken to the nursery. I didn’t nurse her her when she was born, and I wouldn’t be able to for 5 hours because the nursery nurses took so long to bring her. She latched “well”, but ended up with jaundice (a “pit.” birth and delayed breastfeeding I’m sure had a lot to do with it). I had no information, no Lactation consultant, and no one who knew anything about breastfeeding exclusivity. At 2 1/2 weeks we added formula per the pediatrician because I felt like princess wasn’t getting enough food. I returned to work early because of many things , but I pumped 3 times during work. I would breast feed her and give her bottles, then I pumped and gave her bottles, for the first 2 1/2 months slept in her room in a bed with her and breastfed through the night, but eventually by 2 1/2 months she slept through the night and I stopped the actual act of breastfeeding, at 4 months we added food per the perpetration. I had no one to tell me I was doing it ALL WRONG. At 5 1/2 months I through in the towel. I never pumped more that 12 ounce during a day.
January 2011 I was pregnant again! This time I had to use another Doctor and hospital. I also educated myself for 9 months I read and read on low supply and what to do. 13 days before Buba was due I went into labor suddenly at 3:30am I didn’t think it was real it didn’t hurt enough. I had 2 previous induced births and the natural contractions weren’t hard enough to be labor and didn’t last long enough. So I talked my self into going to sleep. Until suddenly I awoke in honorable pain that wouldn’t stop I couldn’t walk, I had to crawl. I couldn’t talk, I had to scream or whisper. I throw up and I could stop rocking my hips it was ingrained into my soul to rock side to side back and forth. I was in labor and according to the contractions that NEVER STOPPED I was probably in the 2nd stage. We got to the hospital and in the door about 7:00. After a fight to get a IV in me while I screamed at them to help me please help me (really should have told them to stop with the freaking IV). My bag of waters was broken, as it was bulging, and trying to come out at the same time as my son, I gave birth at 7:19am. Buba was 6 pounds 8 ounces and 20.5inches long. The nurses cleaned him and took his vitals and cleaned me up. Suddenly they realized ”Are you breastfeeding” the nurse asked and I answered an ecstatic yes!. She apologized and broguht My son to me. I held and fed him for the first time and we connected. He and I laid there I’m not sure how long. I healed during that time. He and I looked at each other and I thought of my other two children. I talked to God. I knew what had happened with Leah at that point and I remembered how long it took for us to “connect”. I regretted her birth. I had taken it away from her. I didn’t trust Her, my body, or God. Her birth was the first mistake I made in our breastfeeding journey and as a mother. I felt sorry I could not give her what was best nor had I been able to give her all of me. I made a promise that I was new. I had lost part of me but I found a new part and a much stronger person.
My son was EBF from 3 weeks till 6 months I and my husband gave a small amount of formula around 2 1/2-3 weeks. After reading about the “Virgin Gut” I through out all the samples that we had been “gifted”. I still had some supply problems after returning to work at 3 months, and I got sick that also effected my supply. We tried fenugreek first, then goats roe and fenugreek, then I got a Rx for Domperidone. It worked Like a charm If fenugreek doesn’t work for you I highly recommend Domperidone. I used Domperidone from about 5 months till 10 months when his food intake was enough for me to risk slowly stepping down off the Domperidone.
We tried to introduce food at 6 months and got an almost a total refusal. I continued to try being careful not to ”push” but would offer different tastes at least once a week. A week before he turned 8 months old we finaly got him in for his 6 months shots. The Dr. ( I think I will call her Dr. “breastfeeding is never complete nutrition”) Dr. BF NcN stated that since he wasn’t eating food that I needed to stop the vitamin D drops (already did that, thanks, because I researched and found there was NO NEED) and start him on vitatmin drops with Iron, and that she wanted to see me in a month and that if he hadn’t started eating foods that she would send him to speach therapy. Now understand that My sons wieght is very low on the CHARTS, but mesures in the 50% for height and is very active meeting all his phyisical milestones at or before he should meet them. Also, another thing Dr. BF NcN tried pushing me to add baby cereals at 4 months. I flat refused stating that the ADA, CDC, and WHO said to wait till 6 months. Also, at that point I would not add baby cereal but I would add ”real” foods, because Human milk is high in carbs and iron so he didn’t need the cereal. Dr. BF NcN’s responce was “hummph”. She then stated that if the mothers Iron is low then so is the babies that the cereal was needed to add that iron that the mother was lacking blah blah blah… ( so you are telling me my milk isn’t enough nor is it full nutrition? That I’m a bad mother? or both?)
So we didn’t go to that next visit and we scheduled the 12 month visit. Since then Buba has decided the he likes many different foods though he is very couscous. he really started enjoying for at 11 months when he got his top teeth and could realy chew. I plan On showing off my wonderful son who has developed quit normally despite not doing ANYTHING she told me to do.
Buba is still nursing on demand while I’m at home 12:15am-3:00pm and weekends (despite 4 teeth on the top and 2 on the bottom thats another post). He gets 6-8 ounces of human milk in a cup or bottle while I’m at work, plus all the cheerios, crackers, yogurt, scrambled eggs, chick peas, apple slices and what ever he wants to try to eat.
So, I did it. I made it to magical 12 months. He isn’t done yet though, and neither am I. My new goal it 24 months! Full Term Breastfeeding here we come.
A big thanks to the ladies from the support group, Cheryl, Angela, Vivian, Kristen, and the ladies of the Facebook support group!
-Pump Master Kamp
“The story don’t mean anything if you got no one to tell it to. Oh it’s true I belong to you” -Brandi Carlile (The Story)
